Sunday, March 13, 2011

you can call me the grumpy dwarf

It is 8:00 and I am sitting at work. This may not be unusual to most but for me, it's very strange. I don't work mornings. Since I have had my job {it has now been 10 months} i've probably worked 15 morning shifts, covering for people here and there due to vacations, sick time etc...
So you can imagine that our families schedule {Collin works nights with me as well} is different then most. Not to mention Jude. Jude is used to our schedule just like we are. He goes to sleep later, much later, because we spend time with him when we get home. CAN YOU BLAME US? And he sleeps in during the day because we do. So needless to say, we like and more importantly, are very used to our schedule.

So why am I a little on edge this morning?? Because for the next three weeks, and I am assuming it will be longer then that as well, I am scheduled to work Saturday nights 3-11, and Sunday mornings 7-3. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 

This means four things: 

First- We usually don't leave the hotel till 11:30. There are people requesting wake-up calls, Collin is finishing up cleaning the pool area, I have to pass any information on to night audit, etc etc. So by the time we pick up Judy Boy which can sometimes be in Alpine, I'm sure you figured out that we don't actually get home until much later then 11:30. 

Second- We aren't getting into bed until the wee hours of the night. Yes, we could cut down the time we spend playing with and enjoying our son but that would be the last to go. We need to eat, get ready for bed, get Jude ready for bed, feed him, rock him to sleep, and then maybe if it is still a reasonable hour Collin and I like to spend some time with each other to just relax. 

Third- When should I plan on pumping enough milk for Jude for the next morning that I am gone? At 3 in the morning when he sleeps through a feeding? No. I would like to get as much sleep as I possibly can so I don't have the energy or desire to wake my self up to pump. But I should. I should pump to be able to have enough stored away for him in case of an emergency. So instead I just tell my self, there are still a few "just in case" bags of milk in the freezer we can use. Does that make me a bad mom? That I am not willing to sacrifice sleep to have more "just in case" milk in the freezer for him? I hope not. I feel as though I am doing him {and guest I have to see at the hotel} a favor by getting as much sleep as I can so I am not as ornery as I want to be. {Although I am a quite ornery today, I could be worst, trust me} and keep in mind me nursing Jude is his only source of food as of right now. He is still working on solids and even if he was taking them, we mix it with breast milk. 

So that brings me to number four- Since I am scheduled to work the AM on Sundays and Collin always works the PM, and we have one car... Should Collin, AND JUDE have to get up at 6:45 to take me to work? Or will Collin have to be late to work since I have to pick him up when I leave here at around 3:15? NEITHER! We DEFINITELY shouldn't be waking Jude up at 6:45 just to take me to work, he needs all the sleep he can get and that would be horrible for his schedule to just wake him up for no reason. So that leaves us with Collin being late to work every Sunday. 30 minutes late every Sunday. That's not good... The bosses would understand I'm sure, after all its up to them to decided the schedule but I don't like that. I am a prompt person. I don't like rushing, feeling anxious or have anxiety.

Not to mention last night was day-light savings so there goes another hour. 

OH! Lets add a number five to that list- NOT SLEEPING EQUALS A GRUMPY MOMMA AND WIFE! And believe me, I don't want to be on edge, I don't want to be at my limits when I get to spend the rest of the day with Jude. I want to enjoy it. I want to give him everything I have and always let him know that it is a pleasure to be with him.

SO THERE. You and everyone at work {and of course Collin} had the delightful opportunity to hear about why I am the grumpy dwarf today. So if you took the time to read this, or you are an employee, or my sweet husband... I apologize for the ranting. For the annoying whining. 

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