we tend to leave our serious talks for the nights we pick up jude in alpine. so at 11:30 last night, it began. the topic: what do collin and i see for our future, individually? where do we personally want to be years from now? at first, this discussion was directed towards collin. what career path he felt drawn too, what school works best for him and his learning style. then for some reason this next question hit me, hard:
'what do you want to do?'
common question right? but the impact that this simple question had on me was unexpectedly surprising. to be honest, my very first thought was, why does it matter what i want to do? and not in a bad way. in a, 'i'm still a newbie to the mom world, i thought doing that was my job', kind of a way. for the past year my attention has solely been reserved for jude. i wish i could say 50% for jude and 50% for collin but if i'm being completely honest, it hasn't been that way. (horrible wife award, right here!) jude is my world. and i love that he consumes that much of me. but being able to balance everything equally has been a challenge. (i can not tell you how excited i am that our cruise is just around the corner, the hubby get 2 whole weeks of just me! 2 whole weeks of some serious catch up time as husband and wife.)
so, what do i want? oh boy, talk about a loaded question.
finally by 1 a.m i had it narrowed down to the 3 things that would make me the happiest:
1. work in the interior design world
2. be a professional organizer (yes, it really is a real thing!)
3. be judes teacher
interior design fascinates me. i'm shamelessly drawn to design shows, blogs and books. its a place for creativity, personal touch and beauty. whats not to love?? weather i do work from home or work for someone else as a coffee girl, having my foot in the door would be satisfying enough.
professional organizer. seriously, what little girl ever thinks to her self, i want to organize for a living! this one right here! i don't know what it is about having everything organized that makes me so giddy! sometimes, its hard to believe that not everyone feels this way. crazy i know. but don't worry, collin reminds me that not everyone is nuts. but really, i do it anyway so why not make it a profession? i have this weird ability where i can turn a pile of messiness in to something crisp and clean and organized. (being a momma has definitely made this a tiny bit more tricky but nothing i haven't been able to handle)
the last choice has required a lot of thought. its a big decision to take on home schooling but one i think i can handle and handle well. i don't know the details of it yet, weather it would be for just a few years or for most of jude's schooling, but i know i'm going to do it. i'm definitely aware of the naysayers on this topic but after doing research (from both ends) i feel as though giving jude this experience for at least part of his education will only benefit him. knowing that the knowledge he will be receiving is depended on me, is extremely terrifying and yet incredibly fulfilling at the same time. i am very much looking forward to starting this chapter in our lives.
gosh, i cant wait to get all of these options into motion!
so there you have it. a peak into my mind as of late.
the serious talk is officially over. (phew!)
tomorrow ill be mentioning our surprise that has been under wraps, so make sure to check in!