Sunday, February 27, 2011

i feel the word vomit about to spill...

My mind has been very cluttered these last few days, or maybe weeks, I don't know how long this has been going on. Its full of all sorts of different things like how I want to start reading more, how I wish I still payed attention to the little details, vacation planning, decorating and organizing our house, Jude and all my love for him, Collin and what to do for his birthday {Happy almost birthday my dear!} how I want to be more creative, my 'to do lists'... You know, the stuff everyone thinks about now and then. I figured it would be the best for my health if I released some of these thoughts/ideas.

I just finished Portia De Rossi's book "Unbearable Lightness" and there was something about reading that final word on the last page that made me miss reading. Yes, I had just finished a book but I've been carrying that book around in my purse since Christmas, reading a few pages here and there. When I finished it I realized how much I love learning about something new and or interesting. I am making a vow to read more. One book right after the other. Up next on my list, "Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell. 

I feel boring. I think that because I am now a mom/wife I tell my self I cant be as spontaneous as I used to be and I want that to change. I can be a silly momma. I can be random and still get errands done. I can take adventures and still remember to make it to our appointments. Collin is great at reminding me of that. I don't always need to worry about being on time, organizing things, checking off my "lists".. I need to worry that Jude is having fun with his parents, that my husband feels loved and appreciated, the important things. The things that should never be over looked. All the other things wont matter in the long run. Who is going to care that I was 5 minutes late to an appointment if we were busy having family time?? 

We don't know where we want to go on vacation but we want to go soon. We want to go on a cruise that leaves from Hawaii and visits Bora Bora, Tahiti, New Zealand, and French Polynesia but that doesn't look like its going to work out {Damn you flights from New Zealand and all your expensiveness!} So instead, we are hoping a cruise to the Hawaiian Islands will work out. I'm already feeling the itch of summer so I sure hope it happens soon! Plus, I cant wait to take my boys to Hawaii and show them where Momma grew up.

When I get up at night and nurse Jude, I sit upright in our bed staring out our bedrooms blank walls and my decorative senses take over! I think of all the possibilities that could soon cover the walls but I am having a hard time deciding on one particular theme/style. I think I've got it narrowed down but who knows what will happen once a beautiful decorative piece screams at me telling me, it too wants to be used in our bedroom. Hopefully I will get it done soon so I can go home and feel at home. We are almost there with everything but its those last finishing touches that are just getting to me! 

 Its Collins birthday soon!! {March 10th he will be the great big 23!} He wants a kayak for his birthday. A kayak. At first I was like "what the...?" but then he made it so clear to me... It really would be the greatest thing. Hear us out... 
If we had a kayak {preferably two, one for me, one for him} we would HAVE to use it. We would HAVE to be out on the lake or cruising down Provo river using it every summer day getting its money worth. If we had a kayak there would be NO EXCUSE to not be adventurous. NO EXCUSE for not getting in a good work out. It just makes perfect sense... Doesn't it??

Jude. Oh my sweet baby Jude. I don't know how I will ever me able to express how much I love you. Even the sweetest of sentences don't seem worthy enough for you and your beautiful soul. You have changed my life {and your fathers life} for the better. Every single day I am grateful for you and for what you did for me. For how you saved me. For the joy you bring my life. When you ask me to build a fort with you, we will build the greatest fort ever built. When you want to camp in the back yard, we will go in the mountains where we can see the stars. When you get embarrassed I will do something that makes me look like a fool. When your heart gets broken for the first time I will be there with lots of X's and O's to try and repair it. Your life is the most precious thing to me. Always remember that.  

Fun facts about me:
I absolutely love grocery shopping {I go to Win Co after I drop Collin off at work and just marvel at all the pretty/organized isles} The Walmart in Cedar Hills is my favorite, it looks like a Martha Steward decorated it. Construction and traffic can really piss me off. Sun glasses and warm weather are what I look forward to during every winter but boots and pretty coats are what I wish for every summer.. I guess I'm one of those who wants what she can't have. The feeling of being on a roller coaster is what I fear the absolute most. Its not that I am scared of the actual roller coaster, its the feeling I know I will get when I ride them. I crave an iced latte everyday around 2:30. Since I cant drink anything that will affect Jude, I have to wait till I know I wont nurse him for a few hours {like when I am working 3-11} till I can cheat a little. OPI nail polish is my favorite not only because the pretty colors but because of the funckadelic names that each of them have. I don't like when guest at the hotel ask me to lower the rates, its like asking a sales clerk to lower the rate of the jeans you want cause you don't like the price. I cant just do that! I love everything about lights at night- Christmas lights, stadium lights, hanging lights, street lights. They are magical to me! 

I feel like this post is getting too long and I am getting anxiety thinking that people wont want to read it once they see how long it is so I am going to stop now.
Thanks for reading.        

1 comment:

  1. I love these types of posts.. I do them often! You are wonderful and inspire me. I love your guts.
    p.s. if you want we are going to mexico May 6 - May 13.. You guys are welcome to join. You would just need to pay for airfare! :-)